Dating after Divorce
With a high number of marriages ending, many people find themselves in the unfamiliar territory of dating after a divorce. Not knowing when to date or what to expect can be intimidating for newly single adults; times change and so do dating trends. However, dating again doesn’t have to be such a scary experience.
When is the Right Time?
There is no definite answer to this question that applies to everyone. At minimum, wait until the divorce is finalized to begin a serious courtship. But it can be harder to know when it’s time to take that emotional plunge back into the dating pool. Be mentally prepared. Talk to friends who have gone through similar circumstances. Don’t make dating your first priority – after a divorce, sorting out living arrangements or job prospects may be necessary. Dating can lead to rejection, which is made all the harder if you’re going through a job search at the same time.
Keep a Positive Attitude
This can be a challenge after going through the emotional hardship of a divorce. But a positive attitude can do wonders. Plus, you don’t want to spend time with someone who is constantly negative and neither does your date. Some dates might end in disaster, but that is all part of finding a good match. Having a negative attitude could lead you to sabotage a promising relationship, which will defeat the purpose of starting to date again.
The Dating Pool
The dating scene now has more options, such as online dating or speed dating. You can join online dating communities made up of others who fall within your age group, whatever that may be. Family and friends may encourage you to date someone they recommend. Do not dismiss the idea; your loved ones are trying to help and they have your best interests in mind. Stay open to the possibilities, and don’t assume that new dating trends won’t work for you. Give it a try before you say no.
Start with Friendship
Marriage – been there, done that. Getting married doesn’t need to be the goal. Have some fun and don’t worry about finding a committed relationship. If you meet someone you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys being with you, cultivate the friendship. Don’t feel as if you must get married again right away. A strong, caring friendship will only benefit any romantic relationship that might develop.
Focus on the Future, not the Past
Use your experience to your advantage. You now have a good idea, not only what you want in a partner, but what actually works. After a divorce, you want to find the right individual to date; avoid any personal characteristics that led to your divorce. By knowing what you need and want, you will be in a better position to move forward without getting bogged down by everything that went wrong in your marriage.
Divorce means one chapter of your life has ended, but the book is not over. Once you take some time for yourself, dating can be your next step. Only you will know when you are ready to take that step, but when you do remember to proceed slowly, have fun, and focus on the positives.
This article was written together with Greg Hutchinson, an expert in dating and love. They write this on behalf of the Dominion Law Group, LLP, your number one choice for Divorce representation in San Diego. Make sure to check out their site for more information on how they can help you get through this difficult time.