Understanding How Your Teenage Child Thinks, And How To Deal With Them – With Love, Patience And Understanding
It is important to understand that the teen years of life are a time of both transition and transformation: transition in the sense that a person moves from the relatively protected realm of childhood to the more exposed domain of the outside world—friends, schools, and school associations
And transformation in the sense that a person is changing rapidly in both mind and body. The thing that makes teenagers so difficult is that most adults have simply forgotten what it was like to be that age.
It has been proven by study after study that many functions of the brain, especially those dealing with the visualization of consequences are not fully formed until the early to mid-twenties.
This is directly related to the way the brain grows and matures, and it can help parents to understand why their children seem to make such insane decisions at times (at least to the parents).
Each child has its own individual and unique circumstances – there is no cookie cutter answer. As you age you also simply forget how it felt to be in those situations. That is why it is so difficult to figure out what drives your teen to act as he or she does.
Dealing with negative teen behavior is a matter of getting to know the particulars of how your teen feels, thinks, and sees the world in relation to her (or him).
It is no good making arbitrary assumptions or imposing imperious demands; these are only likely to exacerbate the negative behavior of your teen and do further damage to the relationship.
Such demands are almost always unreasonable too, which sets the family up for another failure in relationships because of disappointment and blame.
The best way of approaching negative teen behavior is to work towards establishing a genuine relationship based on trust, communication, and mutual respect.
Remember, your teen is taking on the attributes of adulthood but is not fully there yet.
This means their emotions, affections, and feelings can be quite unstable, and they may show signs of being confused and uncertain at various times.
Although this can be frustrating to you as a parent and lead to misunderstandings, it is important to be patient and to reach out for help if you need it.
Fortunately, help is available. Most parents have had to go through the travails of dealing with negative teen behavior, and a select few have taken the time to think through and write down the lessons they’ve learned from it.
There is no best book on parenting teens, for each family is likely to have different circumstances.
Reading a book on teen parenting may help parents who have teens to approach the way they deal with their children from a new, better perspective.
Brick and mortar bookstores are a great place to look, but there is nothing wrong with buying books online.
There are also a lot of resources online, from mothers and fathers who have been through the same thing before to authors and experts in the field. There are plenty of articles and blogs, and reading how other children are acting like yours are can give a deep reassurance.
In the end, with patience and love, stuff usually works out.
Raising a teen is challenging; but working to establish a kind, nurturing, sympathetic relationship with your teen will help immensely.
Achieving such an aim requires love and caring—two things that no parent is short of when it comes to their children.
The only other thing needed is patience.
jPinot loves life, writing and parenting teenagers. He has written about many subjects, and always looks forward to seeing his kids.