Written on December 31, 2012 – 2:22 pm | by daydaily.com |
Fix Your Marriage] Your partner needs an attitude adjustment
1st: After you read this email, put it in your “Fix Your Marriage” email folder!
2nd: Read this whole email and any tasks that are in there, do now… you won’t remember to do it later.
3rd: Remember, I asked for a 100% commitment from you, because I’m giving a 100% commitment to you, and asked you for a deal on that one.
It sure is easy to think that things would be better if your partner had an attitude adjustment.
If only your partner would have a little better attitude.
If only he (she) would do things just a little differrently.
If only he (she) would express more appreciation.
If only he (she) would be more fair and considerate.
If only he (she) would be more physically affectionate.
Sure seems like things would be different then, doesn’t it?
Well, I’ve got bad news for you.
It’s you. You need an attitude adjustment.
The way you’re framing what would “work” is wrong.
What you think would improve things won’t.
Almost everyone has this wrong.
Even marriage counselors get mixed up in this misguided idea.
Marriage counselors, relationship advice givers, “would be” psychologists alert:
YOU need an attitude adjustment.
And the main – the first – place it needs to take place is in the area of giving criticism.
Here’s your task.
Stop criticizing your partner.
Don’t criticize your partner.
It’s not your job to improve your partner.
It’s not your job to “make them a better person in your own image.”
Your job is to be faithful, loyal and supportive.
But Dr. Max, my husband never tells me he loves me.
But Dr. Max, my husband never talks to me.
Sorry of this sounds a bit harsh, but there’s a reason that happens.
It’s because you’re too critical.
But Dr. Max my wife never initiates sex with me.
But Dr. Max, my wive always nags at me.
Right, there’s a reason for all of it.
BUT there’s never a reason to criticize, no matter what.
That knife cuts both ways.
Want your partner to stop being critical?
Take the lead.
First, YOU stop being critical.
It’s a law of the universe.
What you put out comes back to you.
Take care of your own “bi-ness” first.
P.S. There’s only so much I can do in a mini-course like How to save the marriage.
I wish I could do more, but time and space don’t allow it.
And besides, I don’t know you personally so I’m not sure exactly what would help most.
If you’d like to speed up your results and laser focus your efforts to the results you want, Marriage counseling got professional skills and complete guidance of your all marriage problems.